Friday, December 23, 2016

Are you listening?

Me: "Can I have a Cab"?
Waitress brings me the tab.
Me "No, not the tab can I have a cab"?
Waitress: "Do you want an Uber or a taxi"?
Me: "No I'd like a glass of Cabernet".


Saturday, October 8, 2016

Monday, September 19, 2016

Ouch

What I heard after a 30 mile bike ride:
"My ass feels like I just got out of prison." 

Thursday, August 25, 2016

How does that even happen?




                                                "He's a train wreck in a burning building."

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Beery true


"Why do you always take two Mormons when you fish?"
"Because if you only take one, he'll drink all your beer."

Sunday, May 1, 2016