Friday, January 31, 2014

If this is what you mean, sign me up!

From an internet job board: 
"We are onboarding this week, please contact us as soon as possible to apply!"

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Go for it!


Overheard in a bar
"Miss, this wine is awful!"
"No problem, I'll get you another one."
"Wait, can I have another sip before you take it?"


Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Thursday, January 9, 2014

I'll bet that was rough on the throat!

"Today, I downed two North Face jackets, two pairs of snow pants, 
skydiving googles, and the warmest gloves I could find." 

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Yeah, but how many pounds can it press?



                                               "Wow! That's the Jack Lalanne of chickens."

Friday, January 3, 2014

What time are you serving?


                                        Overheard on New Year's Eve at an ice cream parlor:
             "I need three gallons of vanilla ice cream. My dinner's pretty lousy so we're making a bunch of                    
                                                 hummers and hopeful no one will notice."