Not much of a heist.

"He should grab the lute and run."

Really? When do I get my cut?

Overheard on a local NPR station: "Traffic sponsored by..."

That could be dizzying

"I don't want you spinning your heels."

Change is good.

"We need to change the needle."

Eek!

"Wouldn't you like to be a mouse on the wall for that meeting?"

Would that make him a sole man?

"He steals the soles of kids."

Clean house

"This game should have been a sweep."

The Rat Pack

"Just flush me like the rat I am."

Father's Day Special

Overheard in a bathroom. A little girl talking to her dad:
"You know Daddy, you're not a girl. " Then, "You're wearing a girl cowboy hat. I can tell because of the shape."

Follow the bouncing ball.

"It's like a ping pong ball bouncing around a room full of mouse traps."

And what would that look like?

"How about a dart vader mask?"

A "C" for effort

"He'd make short work out of grading a block of cheese."

He can bake, too?

"Jim Carey was good with those kind of rolls."

They don't seem to be doing her any favors."

"They picked her up off the street and put her on the curve."

Hugs & Kisses

"I think I'm going to have to smooch talk him a little."

I'm not sure the jury wanted to see that.

"He sat at the defense table, his handles folded in front of him."

As opposed to?

"He was her biological husband."

Yeah, but I'll bet they're tough.

"Shark stakes are great! Better than beef."

Ouch! That's gotta hurt.

"He was raped over the coals"

Stand and de-liver.

"I call my drinking buddies 'The Walking Livers.'"

I think I know the type

"He's just a crabby moron with bad shoes. She gets it."

Monday morning on the elevator.

"Looks like you got some sun this weekend."

"That's not sun. That's a whiskey burn." 

Now that would be hard to do.

"Most people were dead before they got sick."