I don't even want to go there

"He's already screwed the pouch"

How does that even happen?

                                                "He's a train wreck in a burning building."

Don't we all?

"He has prostrate problems."

Beery true

"Why do you always take two Mormons when you fish?"

"Because if you only take one, he'll drink all your beer."

Which ones does he use?

"He toes the line". 

Seriously?

Me: Do you sell gnocchi?

Cashier: Is that a kind of liquor? 

Are they long and pointy?

"I love those Pinocchio nuts."