Everyone should get them

"Why should he get any free bees?"

Sounds like a real zoo

"He was in a monkey kangaroo court."

The alternative is a Zen version

"They were clapping with both hands."

Shine a light on them.

"They need to be illuminated from the face of the earth."

I'll grant you that.

Teacher: "These were easy questions. Like who's buried in Grant's tomb."

Student: "You mean Cary Grant?" 

So I guess no one heard it.

"It was sort of a mute point."

Now that's saying' a lot

"A dead person could take a crap and it wouldn't smell that bad."