I guess you can't be both

"Are you a ballerina?"

"No, I'm Puerto Rican." 

I can relate!

"I'm calling you on my land line. This is so High School." 

I'm impressed

"He thinks he's all that and a bag of chips."

Everyone should get them

"Why should he get any free bees?"

Sounds like a real zoo

"He was in a monkey kangaroo court."

The alternative is a Zen version

"They were clapping with both hands."

Shine a light on them.

"They need to be illuminated from the face of the earth."