How low can you go?

"He's a nice guy, but he's aggressively stupid". 

Ouch!

"She was standing in front of the mirror, pruning herself." 

At the Wayne State Book Store

Sort of a zen post

Q: Are you finding everything okay?
A: Yes, everything's fine.

Do bees or don't bees?

"We soldiers laugh at you wanna bees!"

I call heads

"Who's flipping the bill for this operation?"

Overheard at a Japanese grocery store

"Dude, I don't know what this stuff is,

but you get a shitload of it for five bucks!"